Stage 02 · Your own voice · Lesson 3 of 3 Choosing what to keep
  1. See
  2. Heal
  3. Gather
  4. Trust
  5. Express

Stage 02 · Your own voice Lesson 3 of 3

Choosing what to keep

Understand that not all programming is bad. You get to choose.

Read it instead

Lesson three. Choosing what to keep. Understand that not all programming is bad. You get to choose. Not everything you were given needs to go. A work ethic, a love of books, kindness to strangers: some of it is a gift. What matters is how you hold it. Kept because you were told to, it's a rule. Kept because you chose it, it's yours. Letting go of the rest is lighter than it sounds: you only put down what never fit. Why it matters. Being authentic doesn't mean starting from zero. It means choosing, on purpose, what stays. That choosing is where self-trust begins. For example. Keep: "Finish what you start." Release: "Never ask for help." Or: Keep: your grandmother's love of hosting. Release: "Always put everyone else first." Where this leads. It closes stage 2 with a clean slate: the voices you keep are now your own. Hold on to this. Some of what you were given is a gift. The work is to hold it because you choose it, not because you were told to.

  1. Stage opening
  2. 2.1
  3. 2.2
  4. 2.3
  5. ?

Hold on to this

Some of what you were given is a gift. The work is to hold it because you choose it, not because you were told to.

The lesson

Not everything you were given needs to go. A work ethic, a love of books, kindness to strangers: some of it is a gift.

What matters is how you hold it. Kept because you were told to, it's a rule. Kept because you chose it, it's yours. Letting go of the rest is lighter than it sounds: you only put down what never fit.

Why it matters

Being authentic doesn't mean starting from zero. It means choosing, on purpose, what stays. That choosing is where self-trust begins.

Where this leads

  1. See
  2. Heal
  3. Gather
  4. Trust
  5. Express

It closes stage 2 with a clean slate: the voices you keep are now your own.

For example

  • Keep: "Finish what you start." Release: "Never ask for help."

  • Keep: your grandmother's love of hosting. Release: "Always put everyone else first."

A line from RumiClose
This discipline and rough treatment are a furnace to extract the silver from the dross.
Rumi, Masnavi, tr. Kabir Helminski

In plain words

Hard experience works like a furnace: it separates what's precious from what isn't.

For this lesson

Keep and release is that furnace. Keep the silver of what you were given; let the rest burn off.

Your practice · about 5 min

List the beliefs, habits and rules you were given. Mark each one Keep or Release. Then choose one to release, and breathe it out.

Why it mattersChoosing on purpose turns inherited rules into values you own.

01

What were you taught growing up? List beliefs, habits and rules.

  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
02

Beside each one, write Keep or Release.

Beside each one on your list, write

  • Keep
  • Release
03

Choose one to release, and breathe it out.

Write it on a small piece of paper. Hold it, and breathe.

Need a nudge? Turn over a hint.