Neutral Isn’t Numb: Turning Triggers into Teachers

Fabienne Louis was already hurting, and then her thoughts made it worse.

In Let’s Be Peace: 20 Unique Paths to Healing Yourself and Spreading Peace in the World, she shares a time when she had severe, undiagnosed inflammations. She felt devastated, sad, and afraid. Her mind kept looping: “What’s wrong with me? Did I cause this? Will I ever recover?” The more she listened to those thoughts, the worse she felt, until she finally listened to a quieter voice inside that said she had the power to change what she was creating.

That part matters because it names something so many of us live with but rarely say out loud.

Sometimes your trigger isn’t “too much sensitivity.”

Sometimes it’s old pain rising because you’re trying to grow.

Why triggers hit harder when you start something new

If you’ve ever stepped into a new job, a new relationship, a new healing path, or even a new plan for your health, and suddenly felt more reactive than usual, Let’s Be Peace: 20 Unique Paths to Healing Yourself and Spreading Peace in the World gives language for it.

Fabienne Louis says staying neutral can be hard because our cells store memories of past experiences, including dramas, traumas, and unprocessed emotions. When we move into a new project or step outside our comfort zone, those memories resurface. Then we get triggered by words and situations that stir fear, stress, and discomfort.

And here’s a hidden detail most people miss: she says the subconscious can distort past experiences to protect us, but that “protection” can also block progress.

So if you’ve been thinking, “Why am I reacting like this?” you’re not broken. You might be meeting an old pattern right at the moment you’re trying to become more free.

What “neutral” really means in this book (and what it doesn’t)

Neutral does not mean cold.

Neutral does not mean you stop caring.

Across the stories in Karen Lee Cohen’s Let’s Be Peace: 20 Unique Paths to Healing Yourself and Spreading Peace in the World, peace is described as something that steadies you, so you can think clearly, choose well, and stay kind without losing yourself.

Brenda Michaels says peace calms the system so healing and answers can come forth. She is not talking about pretending everything is fine. She is talking about a real inner state that makes you more capable, not less human.

Karen Lee Cohen keeps circling the same mission: peace inside first, then peace spreads outward. When you find peace inside, you naturally radiate peace, calm, and well-being.

That’s the promise here.

Not a life with zero triggers, but a life where triggers don’t run the show.

A simple 3-step protocol for meeting a trigger (straight from the book)

These steps are not about forcing yourself to “be positive.”

They are about coming back to yourself, one choice at a time.

1) Pause and breathe (so your body can settle)

Karen Lee Cohen offers breath counts you can use right away in Let’s Be Peace: 20 Unique Paths to Healing Yourself and Spreading Peace in the World:

• 4-4-4-4 (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4)
• 4-7-8 (inhale 4, hold 7, exhale 8)

Brenda Michaels also describes a practice that is beautifully plain: breathe the word “peace” into your body, then breathe out what is not peace (judgment, anger, bitterness, resentment).

Start here because it changes what’s possible next.

When your system is flooded, even the wisest advice can feel far away. A few steady breaths make room for truth to return.

2) Name what’s running you (the old loop, the belief, the resistance)

Fabienne Louis describes how negative loops fed her fear, and how her healing changed when she stopped living inside those loops and began listening to inner guidance.

Brenda Michaels names “erroneous beliefs” and “resistance” as forces that can shape our decisions. She asks a piercing question: can you sit with the belief and the resistance, and still love yourself?

So your job in step two is not self-blame. It’s honesty.

Try naming what’s here in plain words:

• “I’m in a fear loop.”
• “I’m resisting what is.”
• “An old belief is telling me I’m not safe.”

Brenda Michaels explains that resisting “what is” keeps stress and fear in place, and fear does not create the results you want. Even more, she says fear and resistance can block you from your own higher wisdom.

Naming the pattern is how you stop confusing the past with the present.

3) Choose one small response that matches peace (instead of matching panic)

Brenda Michaels says we may not be able to change our circumstances, but we can choose how we respond. That choice can lead to a more creative solution.

Karen Lee Cohen gives a simple way to decide: breathe deeply, ask yourself the questions, then feel in your gut. If you feel good, proceed. If you feel unsure, wait and ask again. If your gut feels off-balance, you have an answer, move on.

And if you feel stuck, Fabienne Louis gives clear guidance: reach out for support. She reminds readers that you are not alone, and that taking one small step to seek assistance can open you to “infinite possibilities.”

So the “aligned micro-step” might be:

• waiting before you respond,
• asking your gut what feels true,
• talking to someone you trust,
• asking for help (and letting yourself receive it).

Small is not weak. Small is how trust comes back.

Forgiveness is how neutrality becomes real (not forced)

If you want one line that cuts through the noise, Brenda Michaels gives it:

“Practice forgiveness every day until you reach a place of feeling neutral.”

That’s a different goal than most people set. Not “I have to like what happened.” Not “I have to forget.”

Neutral.

She also says something many of us need to hear twice: if you believe you can punish someone by holding onto pain, it’s false. The other person or circumstance does not suffer. You do.

In other words, forgiveness is not letting someone off the hook.

It’s taking yourself off the hook of carrying it forever.

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The quiet power on the other side of a trigger

Brenda Michaels says, “Peace is who we are.” She also says peace asks us to release what is not peace.

That’s not just a nice line. It’s a direction.

Karen Lee Cohen ends her work with a steady invitation: love and trust yourself. Over and over. Because the more you trust your inner guidance, the more you can adjust what isn’t working and keep moving toward peace.

So here’s a question to sit with the next time you feel the flare-up rise.

After a few slow breaths, what if you asked your gut, “What response brings me closer to peace right now?” And then take one small step in that direction.