Shadow Gold: The Forgiveness Method That Frees What You Can’t Face

“One finger points out, three point back.” The first time I heard Gudrun Brunier say that in Karen Lee Cohen’s Let’s Be Peace: 20 Unique Paths to Healing Yourself and Spreading Peace in the World, I felt my body soften. It was not about blame. It was a mirror. When we point to a person or a problem, we are being invited inside, to the root in us that resonates with what hurts. When we let that hidden “shadow part” show itself and heal, we release a “gold nugget” of freedom we did not know was there .

When “bad luck” is not the end of the story

Gudrun shares an old story about a farmer whose horse runs away. The neighbors call it bad luck. The horse returns with a herd. Good luck. The son breaks his leg. Bad luck. The army arrives but leaves the son behind because of the broken leg. Good luck. Each time, the farmer replies, “Good luck, bad luck—who knows?” How many times have we seen a hard moment become a blessing we could not see at first? The message is to stay open and keep learning from what happens, even when we do not like it in the moment .

The shadow you avoid is the door you need

Here is Gudrun’s quiet wisdom. Instead of focusing on who is wrong out there, she asks us to look for the part in us that could have done something similar. Not to shame it, but to see it and tend it. That “shadow part” often hides because we feel embarrassed. Life, kind and persistent, reflects it back until we meet it with compassion. When we acknowledge and heal that part, a sense of freedom returns, and a “gold nugget” drops from our own hidden treasure chest .

Everything we experience outside reflects something inside. Conflicts in our outer world invite us to find the inner match and heal it. When we stop searching outside for peace and cultivate it within, we move from dependency to self-trust. We have to be the vibration we want to feel. “We have to be it before we can see it” .

Forgiveness that frees your nervous system

Gudrun offers a simple way to practice forgiveness, crediting Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len and the Hawaiian art of ho’oponopono. Use four sentences like a mantra, spoken to the part inside you that is ready to be seen and released: “I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you!” This does not mean we agree with what happened. These sentences address the inner part we can heal. “The more we forgive, the freer we are” .

Brenda Michaels widens the lens. She urges daily forgiveness, because holding on keeps us in a painful cycle. Believing we can punish others into fixing our pain is false. We suffer when we hold on. “Peace demands forgiveness. Peace demands love in all its amazing forms.” When we bless and forgive, it blesses us back .

What forgiveness looks like in a real day

Karen Lee Cohen keeps the mission grounded. Peace is a choice we can practice in our bodies, breath, and words. She offers concrete tools: simple breathing, a gut-level check for what feels true, and choosing forgiveness so we can move on instead of staying hostage to old hurt .

Gudrun calls it “mental hygiene.” With tens of thousands of thoughts a day, it matters where we place attention. Be a mindful observer. Let your self-talk be respectful and aligned with what you truly want to live. Words carry frequency. Choose the ones that grow peace .

Sometimes the part that overreacts is younger than we think. When we have shock or trauma in our history, our inner child can get stuck. Learning to turn to that inner child and protect it helps us grow into a caring adult. As we heal the past, the present becomes easier to live in .

Try this after your next trigger

• Breathe slow and steady. Use a few cycles of 4-4-4-4 or 4-7-8 breathing to settle. Then ask your gut for guidance. If it feels good, proceed. If you feel unsure, wait. If it feels off, move on. Karen teaches these simple steps so peace becomes practical .
• Look inward, not outward. Notice the impulse to judge. Then gently look for the matching part inside you. You are not excusing harm. You are locating the place where compassion and change can start .
• Say the four sentences. Direct them to the part in you that hurts or reacts: “I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you!” Repeat until something softens. You are cleaning inner residue, not agreeing with what happened .
• Practice mental hygiene. Ask if your thoughts match the peace you want. Speak to yourself with respect. Let your words carry the frequency you want to live in .
• Tend the inner child if needed. If an old part is driving the bus, offer safety and care so your adult self can lead with wisdom .

Be the practice, not just the plan

Kumari Mullin says, “Be the practice.” Do not do it halfway. Choose what raises your vibration and participate daily. That is how energy resets and healing deepens. Generate your own experience before you decide it does not work .

Karen’s closing words echo that spirit. There is no one-size-fits-all path. Trust your intuition. Keep what works. Revise or discard what does not. Check in often and choose tools that serve you now. The Let’s Be Peace ecosystem exists to support your personal practice, one person at a time. Love and trust yourself, and keep going .

Peace grows this way. We forgive. We steady our breath. We choose kind words to ourselves. And as Karen reminds us, when enough of us live this, the world shifts. “By Healing Ourselves We Will Heal the World One Person at a Time” .

When the next sting lands, pause. Breathe. Ask your gut. Find the part in you that is hurting. Offer the four sentences. Then notice what lightens. What shadow gold is ready to be found in your hands today, and what would change if you let it guide you back to peace?