Laugh Like You Mean It: How Humor Helps You Thrive

I was sitting with a friend who looked worn out. We were talking about heavy things when he cracked a small joke about his own clumsy day. We both laughed. Nothing changed on paper, but the room felt lighter. That simple laugh is the kind of strength Rand Selig names in Thriving!. He ends the book with a gentle charge: “Enjoy the ride. Smile and laugh more.” It is not a throwaway line. It is a practice that helps us live well and choose well .

What is the role of humor in personal growth?

Selig places humor among the core strengths that help us build character. He lists curiosity, social intelligence, and self-control, then adds an eighth: “humor,” about both situations and ourselves. Humor is not a trick. It is a way to stay human when life presses on you .

Right after naming these strengths, Selig offers a picture of resilience. There is “oak” strength, firm and steady, and there is “willow-branch” strength, shaped by love and care. He is thankful to have both, and as he matures, he sees more of his strength coming from the willow. The message is clear. Be strong, and be flexible. Humor sits well with that second kind of strength, because it helps us bend without breaking .

Why humor makes hard days easier

Selig’s view of thriving is steady, not flashy. Thriving is “climate,” not “weather.” One rough day does not define a thriving life. Over time, our choices tilt the balance toward the good. Laughter is one of those daily choices that nudges the climate in our favor. It keeps heaviness from setting like cement. It helps us return to the work of the day with more air in our lungs .

He also warns us about trying to do too much. “Less is more.” He asks us to finish strong and to separate what is essential from what is not. Humor supports this shift. When we stop trying to carry every load, we have space to smile at the rest. We move with intention, not panic. And when it is time to focus, he offers the “Rhino Principle,” a full, focused charge at the thing that matters most right now. We can be lighthearted and still serious about the work that counts .

How humor builds better relationships

Selig says strong leadership is a relationship. It is not command and control. It is connection. He urges leaders to thank people, to listen well, to explain the why, and to share something personal. Listening creates real power, because giving up the floor opens the door for trust. Humor fits here when it is kind and real, not sharp or dismissive. It helps us show we are human, and it makes room for others to be human too. That is the soil where people believe you and believe in you .

He offers a simple guide to integrity in daily talk: act as if everyone can see and hear you, answer in a timely way, set expectations wisely, and “speak caringly.” A light tone and a clean heart travel far. They soften hard moments and keep relationships strong when stakes are high .

Use humor to stay strong when life gets loud

Selig turns to mental toughness with help from Jon Gordon’s advice. When you face setbacks, learn from them. When you meet critics and naysayers, remember the ones who spoke life into you. When you feel overwhelmed, focus on what you can control and return to the present. This is not a grin-and-bear-it script. It is a way to keep your head and your heart steady. A small laugh, even at your own missteps, can reset the moment so you can do the next right thing .

If you want a simple starting point for lightness, Selig’s related piece captures it well. It shows how one habit of humor can lift your day when stress hits. It pairs perfectly with the book’s “practice” mindset: Emotional Resilience: Build One Habit to Thrive This Year.

Practical ways to practice healthy humor

Humor in Thriving! is woven into everyday choices. Here are ways to use it without losing your edge.

• Smile and laugh more on purpose. Selig’s words are plain, and they work. A brief smile can break tension so your best self can show up again .

• Finish strong, with lightness. When you are at the end of a project or a role, it is tempting to check out. Selig urges you to finish strong so you do not burn bridges or carry regret. A little humor can keep your energy clean as you close the loop well .

• Keep your talk caring. Quick thanks, soft words, and timely replies are small acts that build trust. Humor lands best on a bed of respect. Do the small things and your lightness will be felt as kindness, not as a dodge .

• Choose the essential and charge it. Say no to the extra so you can bring your full self, including your sense of humor, to the work that matters. When it is time, lower your head and charge like the rhino. Then come up laughing when the run is done .

The deeper reason humor helps us thrive

Selig’s core idea is choice. “What we practice, we become.” Practice shapes who we are. If we practice seeing the good, saying thank you, finishing strong, and laughing with grace, we become the kind of people who can handle weight without hardening. We become more like the willow, steady and flexible, and we still keep the oak when we need it. We are the ones holding the reins. We set sail. We choose to thrive .

He closes with a question I keep near: “Could this coming year be the best year of your life thus far? What would it take for this to be so?” For me, and maybe for you, it starts with one steady choice we can make today—smile once, laugh once, and return to the work that matters most .