Mindset Matters: Creating a Frame of Mind for Success
You can feel the split in a room. Some faces carry stress. Others glow with quiet energy. Rand Selig saw this at his 40th business school reunion and realized a simple truth in Thriving!: we are all dealt different cards, but how we play them is up to us .
Who This Is For
If you’ve asked yourself, “Am I thriving in my life, my relationships, my work, and in the world,” and the answer is no, Thriving! is for you. The book invites you to be the author of your own story through the choices you make each day. Thriving is a state over time—the climate, not the weather . Selig’s intention is clear: to help you create a healthier, happier, more prosperous life by building habits, character, and a positive outlook that unblock your power to choose .
The Real Struggle
Life brings adversity. Some of it is beyond your control. Some repeats because the lesson hasn’t landed yet. We can even play good cards poorly if we’re unprepared or if our habits and mindset are not ready for the moment . Selig’s own story includes a distant father and a chronic autoimmune eye condition, yet with belief, responsibility, and long effort, he grew more compassionate, humble, and grateful—and designed a life aligned with his values .
What Changes When Your Mindset Changes
Selig promises something practical and hopeful: with strong habits, a positive outlook, and character, you can make better choices and move toward flourishing. As he reminds us, “What we practice, we become” . The book even places “Creating a Frame of Mind” inside the chapter “Managing Ourselves,” right next to habits and routines and knowing your skills and talents—a clear sign that mindset is built and practiced, not wished into being .
How to Build a Frame of Mind for Success
Choose How You Play Your Cards
You have more power to create the possibility of thriving than you might realize. Ask, “Am I focused? Do I have the stamina to play well?” Then act. You control your responses, and those choices add up over time .
Be Strong and Flexible
Selig describes resilience in two forms: strong like an oak and strong like a willow. The willow bends and survives. Aim for strength with flexibility so you adapt without losing yourself .
Train Your Mind Under Pressure
The book highlights mental toughness cues from Jon Gordon: treat adversity as a teacher, tune out naysayers, focus on what you can control, use your breath to return to the present, and when self-doubt rises, replace it with positive self-talk. Do your best and finish strong .
Let Go of Habits That Hurt
Selig shares a recent “miracle.” He stopped venting. He saw it didn’t release pressure—it hardened hurt and harmed others. Letting go brought relief and progress for him. Consider what you might release today .
Define Success on Your Terms
Do not live on autopilot. Decide for yourself. As Selig spotlights, you can choose to live with integrity, be authentic, and love the process. “Next time you ‘fail,’ remember that it’s not meant to define you. It’s meant to refine you.” Choose your path and keep moving .
Practice Hope With Clear Eyes
Hope is a choice and a habit you build in struggle. “Critical thinking without hope is cynicism. But hope without critical thinking is naïveté.” Choose hope, and make it a practice that shapes your days .
Keep Learning
Listen harder. Step outside your comfort zone with courage and humility. Be a lifelong learner so you can make wise, conscious decisions when it counts .
Proof It Works
Selig’s life is its own evidence. He turned hardship into a values-driven career, stronger family bonds, and deeper gratitude through belief, responsibility, and sustained work over many years . Thriving! is designed as a workbook, inviting you to pause, journal, and make each chapter personal so the ideas become action in your life .
He also gives simple anchors to steady you when your thoughts spiral. As quoted in the book: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.” Let that guide your self-talk. Speak truth and encouragement to yourself rather than listening to fear on repeat . And remember the call to action Selig emphasizes: set sail, don’t drift. “There is no inevitability as long as there is a willingness to contemplate what is happening.” Practice, act, and steer your course. What you practice, you become .
Try This Today
- Name one “card” you’re holding. Write it down, then choose one next step you control. Small choices build climate, not just today’s weather .
- Pick your strength. Are you an oak or a willow today? Where do you need to bend, and where do you need to stand firm ?
- Train one thought. When your inner critic speaks, replace it with one honest, helpful line. Do your best, and finish strong .
- Let one thing go. Follow Selig’s example. Release one habit that keeps pain in place, and notice the space it opens for calm and clarity .
Where This Mindset Leads
Day by day, your choices will align your life with your values. You won’t chase success. It will meet you as the result of integrity and purpose. You’ll find the courage to act, the humility to learn, and the gratitude to enjoy the journey. You will be, in Selig’s words, living vigorously, flourishing, and prospering across your life’s seasons—the climate, not the weather .
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You have more power than you think. What will you practice today that your future self will thank you for—focus, flexibility, or hope?